November 2010
1 post
"it all depends on your perspective"
i won’t sugar coat it. i’ve been having a rough time lately. at the moment i have a splitting headache and i am exhausted- and i still have a midterm paper to write before i can go to bed. and then i have to be up at 7 for a class tomorrow. i’ve been fighting a cold and a stomach virus and a lot of fear and complacency. and it’s hard. and it’s okay. but i just had a really big reality check. “The...
October 2010
2 posts
a few thoughts on love & marriage
at the beginning of this year i noticed a shift taking place in my heart concerning my feelings and thoughts about finding/meeting ‘the one’ and my desires as far as one day being a wife. up until this part of my life, i realized, i’d always thought about getting married one day in a very SELFISH way. i wanted (and still do) someone to hold me, to take care of me, to delight in me and walk with...
i have a hard time remembering the things i should...
i have good days and i have bad days. sometimes i’m content, if not happy, and no matter the circumstances i go about my life with a positive attitude. i’m hopeful and patient and trusting and confident in You and Your love. but sometimes i feel miserable. i feel useless and alone and like everything i’m spending time and energy on is just a waste of … life. i want to be a part of something big...
September 2010
2 posts
hmm… :) i love this. and i think i experienced it a bit, today. life has been… nothing short of an emotional car crash this last month. God is doing a lot in and through and around me and it’s painful but good. but i’ve been getting way too stressed out. and it’s funny because one of the biggest weights i’ve been carrying around is school. this summer i...
1 tag
i miss these children. i miss the joy (not happiness) i experienced in Haiti. i miss feeling like i was doing something significant. i miss how HARD it was and how UNCOMFORTABLE and how that made it so easy to recognize my lack, my need. and now i’m back in the ‘flow’ of regular old going-to-school American comfortable busy life- and i hateeee it. but i KNOW this is where He...
August 2010
3 posts
broken (for the) record
there is something that is stirring within me, and i can’t put words to it. i can’t explain it. there is no song i could sing, no story i could write, no picture i could take, no sermon i could preach, no cry i could bellow from the depth of my belly to express it. it cannot be expressed in human form. what is this thing in me? or what thing am i overlapping, suffocating? this… life. life is...
i miss them. i miss the children. i miss their faces. the eyes looking up into mine like there was some kind of hope to be found there. and there was. so freely given, you poured it out to them. through me. and it felt right for the first time in my life. it was right for the first time in a very long time. i was living and you were moving. i was breathing again, singing again. but i was standing...
i want to write a story not just with words but with the way i live my life. i want to be a part of something bigger than myself. i want an irreplaceable role in the stories i see unfolding all around me, all the time. to live with purpose, to live with vision. to walk steadily in the direction of my dreams. i want to be, to exist, to flow… to go. i don’t want to sit still any longer. i’m tired...
January 2010
1 post
this morning, at 6:03 AM i hit snooze twice, dragged myself out of my warm bed, groggily climbed the stairs, and got in the shower. as i stood there under the hot water, i prayed. for myself. that i would be patient- that i would stay focused- that i wouldn’t worry about the little anxieties nipping at my mind. i got irritated when my sister came in to the bathroom and started getting ready. i was...