a few thoughts on love & marriage
at the beginning of this year i noticed a shift taking place in my heart concerning my feelings and thoughts about finding/meeting ‘the one’ and my desires as far as one day being a wife. up until this part of my life, i realized, i’d always thought about getting married one day in a very SELFISH way. i wanted (and still do) someone to hold me, to take care of me, to delight in me and walk with me. a best friend, a constant buddy, someone who would encourage me and support me and lead me and help me and comfort me and walk through life with me. it was all about me.
but then i started to realize (because the Holy Spirit started showing me) the absolute BEAUTY and POWER that is in a marriage relationship. i started to see that my relationship one day with my future husband will be more about me & God than me or “my man”. i started to see that marriage isn’t just about the two humans involved- it is meant to be a glorious revelation of intimacy, and love, and companionship. it’s meant to be an analogy to the world of how in Love the Bridegroom is with His bride. it is meant to bring God glory, NOT to fulfill a person’s need for companionship.
don’t get me wrong… i do think we need each other. and i do think that a husband and wife should be best friends. and one day, when i marry, my man will be the second person i run to when i’m scared or when i need to ask for advice. and i’ll follow him and i’ll devote hours of energy and affection and love to him and our relationship. but the first Person i go to will and should be Jesus. He is my Best friend, my dearest Beloved, my first and my last Love, and the reason for every ounce of my existence.
this sounds like a very simple idea. many people say ‘Jesus is my number one’, but i have been challenged to consider what it REALLY means to LIVE that. i see so many people who love Jesus enter into romantic relationships… and start to put Him second. or third. and they unintentionally put their significant other before God. and their relationship with God becomes something they keep around to make sure that their romance stays ‘healthy and God-centered’ but they actually keep God at bay and focus all of their attention and affection on this human.
and the truth is… this always ends badly. i’m not saying it ends in break-ups or divorce, but it definitely ends in brokenness. because humans are imperfect. and nobody, nobody is meant to hold the place in our hearts that belongs to Jesus. and i’m not saying that everyone does this- but it happens a lot. it happens to people who aren’t even dating or married. it happens among friends.
yes- we were made to love. we were made to love God. we were made to love ourselves and to accept God’s love for us. and to BE WITH Him. let me say it again: we were made to BE WITH God, to love Him and let Him love us. and we are called to share His love, as it is poured into us and as we accept it from Him. we are called to let His love be an OVERFLOW into the lives of our dearest and closest friends, as well as the strangers we meet on the street.
love is an overflow of our relationship with the One who never lets us down, never lets us go. without Him being first in our lives, we cannot truly love to the extent that we were made to. because we aren’t letting Him lead. because we aren’t trusting Him.
i am realizing more and more that He is my Husband. He is my Best Friend. He is the One i truly desire. and He is the only one that will ALWAYS be there to hold me, to take care of me, to delight in me and walk with me. HE is my best friend, a constant buddy, someone who encourages me and supports me and and helps me and comforts me and walks through life with me. so basically- i’ve already met the Love of my life. :) and i’m letting Him lead.
and one day, in His timing, i’ll meet my earthly husband. and our love relationship will be a beautiful, precious thing. and it will bring God so much glory. but until then- and after- and forever and always, i’ll be -first and foremost- His beloved. <3
